How good are you at small talk?

When it comes to dating, everyone can find it challenging to relax and enjoy conversation when first meeting someone new. It doesn’t matter how good you may be, it’s always good to have some pointers and small talk is much better with a little practice. Like a job interview, this is important if you want a positive result.

The goal is to gently establish rapport and find out if you like each other. That’s only done through a chat.

Here are a few hints to think about next time you’re in that situation.

Be curious and ask open-ended questions

That isn’t the same as getting involved in controversial topics! You’ll also get far better engagement if you ask something where more than a ‘yes’/’no’ response is needed.

Pay attention

Even if conversation flows, there’s a hint of disrespect if someone tells you something and you go around the houses and ask the same thing. We’ve all done it and some may just ignore, but don’t think they won’t have noticed. That may have given off the wrong signal as to how engaged you seem, or not.

Put your phone away and on silent

It would seem an obvious one but so many of us are tied to our phones and can easily be distracted by a message popping up. It’s so easy to pull out our phones when we’re feeling uncomfortable or awkward in social situations. However, if you’re at an event and think no one’s looking and have a sneaky peek, nothing will sabotage your chances of a meaningful conversation more quickly.

Body language is important

Everyone feels better if you give someone a big welcoming smile and body language, especially eye contact and confident posture can be so helpful in communicating how we feel. If you can get a laugh out of someone, and if you laugh with them, you’re certainly there.

Practice makes perfect

Look for opportunities to make small talk even if it’s just to say hello to someone you pass in the street. (Maybe check they look vaguely approachable first!).

So you think you’re perfect for dating?

The British are renowned for politeness.

As friends, what do you do if someone has terrible teeth and there’s a conversation about what might be holding them back? Would you be honest? One would hope so. No one likes the idea of kissing someone with terrible teeth and it’s one of the most common things women, in particular, mention as a turn-off.

And it’s the same with anything physical, especially something cosmetic which can’t necessarily be reversed. Do we say something? It’s difficult.

What about your weight? You’re loved by friends whether you’re carrying a few pounds, or not.

But what if something is holding you back from success with your dating? Like clean nails, tidy hair and smart shoes, we hear feedback and if you’re stuck in a dating rut, we’re here to help, if it’s wanted, but not otherwise!

We live in a world where it’s important to stand up and be yourself with the confidence to look how you want to look. You’re the only one to judge.

If you recognise you do need some help and don’t want that awkward conversation with us, we’re currently working on a bank of reliable contacts. If you want something included, let us know!

Another ‘must read’ book for you

Sometimes there’s nothing better than a truly eccentric Brit telling a tale of ‘derring-do’ and Atlantic Rower, Simon Howes is exactly that!

After watching a young, fit Atlantic rower arrive in Antigua, he went over to him and, on a complete whim, bought his boat and that was the start of his incredible adventure. Unfit, a 68 years old retired stockbroker and bon viveur who had never previously rowed, Simon’s tale is funny but it’s also unbelievable how he survived. Not only that, he broke records despite quantifying a good day by the food and alcohol consumed. He did it despite numerous ‘critical incidents’ to help red squirrels survive on the Isle of Wight at their own sanctuary and to see whales.

By a copy on Amazon – you won’t put it down until it’s finished. It’s well written for someone who purports not to be a good writer and Simon is our lovely Emma Hunter’s uncle, to boot.

I loved it! I applaud you, Simon Howes but please don’t do your next proposed adventure…..solo across the Pacific.